CHIOMA OKOLI'S BLOG

Each time I see a poster of an obituary, I always say to myself "it could have been me." This life is not promised and won't be forever. Gradually, you see all your loved ones die and fade away. The only thing you have is memories of them enclosed in your hearts and in photo albums. When you think of them, you have this heartache and void that can never be filled. I guess life sometimes comes with this emptiness that's hard to explain. Sometimes, you feel the tiny sobs wail down your throat but you never cry, and then other times, the cry comes out like a burst with uncontrollable tears rolling down your cheeks.  We must all die the say but we never know when and that's what makes it even scarier. It could come on your happiest day or on your saddest day and then, it leaves you breathless. Death comes like a thief at night and robs you off your soul, the most valuable thing that shows that you're human because without it you wouldn't exist and know what...

  As a little girl, I knew and understood what gender inequality was even when no one explained it to me. I was always whisked away into the kitchen to learn how to cook, not because it was a necessary life hack or skill to survive, but because I will become a woman that will get married someday and will be expected to cater to my husband and children. It made me hate cooking because my brothers were left to play all the time. I was flogged and punished if I don’t get to stay in the kitchen and learn from my mother. It took me moving out of my family house and living alone to like and enjoy cooking. It became clear to me that I was being kind to myself and taking care of my health by taking out time to cook the things I loved. I also remembered how I got beaten and was stopped from playing football because I sustained an injury on my leg. I was told that I was a girl and didn’t need injuries on my leg because it would spoil my leg and make me unattractive. I wasn’t also...

I always break my heart myself  I think I love a little too much, always ready to give my all with nothing in return  Then I meet people who set out or represents to love me Then, I find out it was all a sham, at least I think They never loved me Or maybe I'm just impatient with them  Maybe all the intuition is real  Maybe they were not real, they lied to me and pretended about their feelings  I think I love a little too much and that's why I break my own heart   I guess I'm done with the game of love  Chasing a feeling I never see nor understand is just too hard to comprehend  Maybe the concept of love is flawed  Somehow I know exactly where and when the journey ended Chioma Henrietta Okoli

The things you don't see lies beneath a perfect facade. You could say I looked beautiful right in that picture with skin glowing liking the sun. I'll tell you what you don't know. Could you please take off my glasses for a second? Underneath lie dark circles and patches resulting from lack of sleep for a week now. On the morning of the picture, I was so weary and didn't even have the slightest energy to apply white powder let alone draw my eyebrows. I said to myself, damn it, girl! I will go to work like this. I have worked myself out but I must still carry on. I wore a smile and my glasses and looked picture perfect. You must learn that beneath all the perfections lies the imperfections. Chioma Henrietta Okoli

One day, you wake up to everything falling apart  without clues. You don't even bother to fix it anymore. You have given up and the spirit has failed you. No strength to make amends and you don't know why. You are no longer anxious about anything. You take it in good faith. They are all part of the journey. Sometimes, you accept defeat without fighting. The aftermath of fights is bitter so you choose peace by choosing defeat and giving up the right to fight. You don't want to consider any "Maybe" "Maybe" is just an illusion because we always know what flows from our hearts. If anything was going to be right, it will be right. Sometimes, time and inconsequential things help in the misalignment of perfect union. Don't beat yourself. if it's meant to be, it will be. Spread your wings like a free bird and fly up high in the sky. Chioma Henrietta Okoli 

The thing about discrimination is that it doesn't point to any particular thing You are not just accepted You could change one thing in a bid to sway them your way and your offer will expire and vanish right away Soon, they are on to another thing They keep demanding from you and taking till there's nothing left to give It's really a bad place to be in because you're unacceptable. It leaves you broken and dents your self confidence People don't just see people as people. There's always something attached to the way you're perceived The fake smiles and clothes you wear to please the society never depicts all the messed up emotions and pent up anger running through your head No matter what you do, you'll never be accepted because that is the world order I'll tell you what you can do You have to dissasociate yourself with all the vain things that makes you wear the fake smiles and dress up on the outside for you to be accepted Nobo...

It's Friday, alcohol and public places are excited including the private places. Everybody is waiting for the day to end to enable them to live out the Friday. I went to this lounge with a friend of mine who promised to take me out. I sat down sipping my drink and observing everybody.  The table beside me had people who looked like they were having a village meeting and one of the men amongst them came with his wife, the type of wife who's always stronger than the husband, the type who insist to go everywhere with their husband to make sure he doesn't look at the small girls like they call them. You can tell she's used to it because she was dancing to the music and having her fun while eating everything on the menu.  The other table had people who genuinely came out to have fun. You can see them laughing and dancing to every beat the DJ played, one can see the youthful exuberance.  Another table had guys who look like they've lost business deals, love, and family. ...