Each time I see a poster of an obituary, I always say to myself "it could have been me."
This life is not promised and won't be forever. Gradually, you see all your loved ones die and fade away. The only thing you have is memories of them enclosed in your hearts and in photo albums.
When you think of them, you have this heartache and void that can never be filled. I guess life sometimes comes with this emptiness that's hard to explain. Sometimes, you feel the tiny sobs wail down your throat but you never cry, and then other times, the cry comes out like a burst with uncontrollable tears rolling down your cheeks.
We must all die the say but we never know when and that's what makes it even scarier. It could come on your happiest day or on your saddest day and then, it leaves you breathless. Death comes like a thief at night and robs you off your soul, the most valuable thing that shows that you're human because without it you wouldn't exist and know what life is all about.
Sometimes you begin to question all the material things that come with life because once you die, you never get to remember them nor see them again. No wonder King Solomon looked at all these things and said "vanity upon vanity, all is vanity". I wonder why we are meant to pursue earthly things which only gives us comfort and temporal ownership because once we die, it's all gone in a blink. So why do we hold unto these things like it's a permanent gift? I've never understood it because things come and things go.
I just want to live a life filled with purpose and giving all the love I can, wherever I go. I want to live every day as if it is my last because I don't own the life I live, and the owner can take it any day he wants. I can only try to manage it well. That's all I can do as a caretaker.
These days, I just look at everything in a different way. Because tomorrow I will see an obituary poster and the initial thought of "it could have been me" will settle in. Despite all of this, life must carry on.
Chioma Henrietta Okoli
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